


Who You Are

by cubedcoffeecake



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Happy Ending, M/M, Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23120734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cubedcoffeecake/pseuds/cubedcoffeecake
Summary: "Be the man I know you are. Justbe."Be who you—""...are," Ben whispered.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Tai
Comments: 5
Kudos: 16





	Who You Are

"I am  _ not _ what you think I am, Tai. It's too late now. This is my path."

" _ No _ . That's wrong. You can just  _ stop _ . Turn around. Walk the other way.  _ Every path goes in two directions _ .

"However deep you think you are, I promise you, there's deeper yet. It can get worse. You're acting like you don't have any control, when every single step you take  _ is your own choice _ ."

" _ Choice _ ? I have  _ no choice _ and  _ never did _ . Even my  _ name _ isn't a choice. The dark side and the light both claimed me for their own the moment I was born. Do you know how that  _ feels _ ?

"Whether it's Luke Skywalker or Snoke,  _ neither one _ sees me as a person. I'm just a… legacy. A set of  _ expectations _ ."

["Now you will be who you are. Who you were always meant to be."]

["Yes.  _ Yes.  _ Claim your birthright..."]

"There's hope. There is always hope. You can start from wherever you are. No path is forever. You could spend the rest of your life healing people, trying to bring more light to the galaxy, and it  _ would all matter _ . Those people would  _ still be helped _ .

"We could team up, right now, and destroy the Knights of Ren and save this place. We could—"

"Kill me if you have to, Ben. Or… don't. Be the man I know you are. Just  _ be _ .

"Be who you—"

  
  


"Why do you hide so much about yourself, Ben?"

[The surface of the water was like glass. So near to a mirror, but alive. When Ben caught sight of his reflection, it was never himself looking back.]

[The cool surface of the mossy rocks soothed something deep inside Tai. There was nothing to sense within stone but quiet. Softly, he ached.]

"Come on. You know the Force helps me sense things. You've got a box inside you where you lock things away. I mean, everyone does… But yours is locked up  _ tight _ ."

"You know why. I'm  _ Ben Solo _ ."

[" _ Evasive action _ ? Ben's father is one of the galaxy's greatest pilots, and his uncle blew up a  _ Death Star _ . We can't  _ evade _ him!"]

"Yeah, but that's exactly it. You need to  _ be who you are _ . Everyone does."

["I saw into Ben's head when I was trying to calm him down during the fight, Voe. I know where he's going. To a group called the Knights of Ren. He thinks they can help him. He thinks they can help him find his true path."]

[What is the  _ truth _ , my friend? What is your  _ true name _ ? The Knights will want you to take it if they let you join them. It is the way of the Dark Side. When we embrace it fully, we become our truest selves."]

["Who will  _ you _ become?"]

"I don't need to know your secrets—no one does, unless you want—but you have to realize that people  _ will _ accept all of you. Just as you are. I know you, Ben Solo. You're not as bad as you think."

["Snoke was completely wrong about you. You're fighting this every step of the way. You don't want to live in the Shadow."]

"You sure about that?"

["I told you Ben wouldn't hurt us. He's not a  _ murderer _ ."]

["You don't know him. What Ben's had to deal with. I don't care what he said. He would never do this. Ben doesn't need to be  _ hunted _ , he needs our  _ help _ ."]

"Don't be afraid of what other people will think. Just be who you are. The rest will follow."

"Be the man I know you are. Just  _ be _ .

"Be who you—"  
  


"...are," Ben whispered.

Not "Who you were always meant to be."

"You don't want to live in the Shadow."

No. No, he… he didn't. Ren was right.

He  _ could _ . He could learn to kill. He could become stronger.

["I just… don't  _ get _ it. He really  _ was _ the prize student. I didn't always like him, but the Force is so  _ strong _ in him."]

But he didn't need to become stronger. He was already strong.

Tai's hand was stretched out toward him.

Ben took it.

  
  
  


They hadn't needed to destroy the Knights of Ren. Voe had that handled brilliantly. Ben and Tai left the mines hand in hand, running as fast as they could, disbelieving laughter trailing behind them. They were running away.

  
  
  
  


It didn't take a full day for Ben's anger to rise. The Force whipped around him as he slung weaponry and trophies into the walls of the Knights' former ship.

Tai sensed Ben's turmoil even before he heard the crashes and wound through the halls at a run. He didn't know what he could do once he found him, but he wouldn't leave Ben alone.

"Ben?" he gasped, breathless, finally turning a corner to see the other.

"This! This is me, Tai! You always wanted me to stop keeping that fucking box locked away—" Something very large shattered just be Tai's head and he turned away, sheltering his face.

"This is what happens! What do you think now—that people will accept all of me? Just as I am?"

"Yes!" Tai cried.

"Liar!"

"Ben, look at yourself! You are angry, and you are destroying things. I don't fucking care! You're not breaking anything important!"

The room stilled, and Ben turned toward Tai, his face white.

"You're not trying to kill me. You can be angry! What matters is what you do with your anger, your rage, your pain."

"Why, Tai—how unlike the Jedi way," Ben mocked. It came out too gently, though. Almost vulnerable.

"This isn't about the Jedi way. I'm not here with you because I'm a Jedi, Ben! I'm here because  _ I _ accept you as you are!  _ I love you _ !"

[This was different from Snoke. From Ren. From Luke, or his mother, or Voe.]

[Nothing pained Tai more than watching Ben lie to himself.]

Ben was far from finished throwing things. The anger in his veins was renewed by his desperate, earnest confusion about what this could possibly mean. After half an hour Tai resignedly went back to the cockpit, figuring it would be best to stay away from the flying axes.

That evening, though, Tai woke up to a pair of thick arms pulling him into a strong chest.

"Ben?" he murmured.

"Shhhh," Ben whispered. "It's… all right."

" _ You're _ all right?"

"Yes," Ben answered immediately. He sounded more sure of himself than Tai had ever heard him. "I'm all right. We're all right." Tai smiled.

They had to start somewhere—this wasn't bad.  
  
  


\----

"Kylo! Your mom is on the holocall!"

"I don't have the patience to deal with her today, I may actually fucking scream!!" Kylo hollered back, keeping his focus on trying to use the Force to pull every godforsaken speck of sand off his person. Oh, he  _ hated _ sand.

"I'll tell her you're indisposed!" Tai called back agreeably.

Kylo paused in his quest for a moment to sigh blissfully, feeling acutely how lucky he was to have a husband who knew him so well he didn't have to explain himself there. Though he knew Tai would immediately counter that half of it was Kylo, for choosing to be so open with him.

"Why are you smiling at the cargo doors like that?"

The voice startled him out of his thoughts and he glanced over at the teenager perched in the rafters of the hangers. God only knew how she'd gotten up there. Surely, he and Tai hadn't been half this troublesome when they were her age.

"My mind was elsewhere, Miss Rey."

"Uh huh." She raised an eyebrow, looking impressively unimpressed. "Well, that makes more sense than you being happy that I altered the frame so the doors can't open."

"What do you mea—"

Well fuck. So she had. That little—were all nineteen year olds like this?!

She scampered away just as the doors behind Kylo opened and Tai walked through, chuckling.

"To be fair, she is a Skywalker." Kylo rolled his eyes, even as he turned to peck Tai on the lips.

"And when we get back I will be happy to give her back to Luke." A wrench flew out of nowhere and hit Kylo in the back of the head. Tai caught him by the arm before he could topple all the way to the floor, but Kylo's dignity was sufficiently damaged by the attack.

"I'll get you for that!" Kylo cried, summoning a can of detailing paint and leaping up into the rafters where the punk was hiding.

Tai shook his head and smiled as a second paint can spun by him. They'd be cleaning paint out of the hanger for weeks.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, that was a really weird and confusing format, and yes, some of those quotes came after Tai was killed in Issue #4 and therefore were never actually said in this 'verse. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ The Force works in strange ways.
> 
> I have been told I published the first bentai work on Ao3 and I am considering that a badge of honor and of responsibility to stick around!! I'm also slightly obsessed, so that helps.
> 
> My writing commissions are open rn! You can get more info on my Twitter (cubedcoffeecake) or go straight to my Ko-Fi (cubedcoffeecake). The short of it is if you'd like to donate me a coffee or two and comment an AU and pairing (Kylux, Benarmie, renben, bentai, gen), I'll write you 500-3500 words for it. (:
> 
> Thanks you guys for reading so far! I hope you enjoyed <3


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